I’ve been thinking about twisting poses these days, specifically the idea of turning away or towards something. One cannot happen without the other.

I’ve been asking myself whether I even understand what I am turning towards as I turn my back on something? Am I truly turning my back? I don’t think so.

On a personal level, I am turning towards healing and recovery due to a relapse of my long COVID symptoms that began at the start of August. To do that I need to turn my back to the expectations I’ve had to keep up the pace of my life prior to COVID. And, I am finally ready to do so!

I am blessed to be part of a qualitative research project connected to the University of Calgary that is exploring the role of physiotherapy to help people like me who have been struggling with breathlessness, fatigue, post-exertion malaise and other aspects of long COVID.

Last week I had my first session with my amazing physiotherapist, and it was an eye opening experience! I had no idea how compromised my breathing had become. It’s no wonder I am tired all the time!

I also learned that I’m not doing a good job of pacing myself. I understand how important it is to slow down in order to speed up, but apparentlyI have not slowed down enough for true and sustainable healing to occur.

And for the first time in a long while, I feel like I am turning towards a solution, or at least an improvement of my long COVID symptoms.

As I turn towards the protocols that will help me get healthier, I must turn away from those things that don’t.

I need to turn away from:
✨Comparing myself to how I was in the “before times”.
✨Pushing myself to complete tasks when I’m clearly tired.
✨Feeling guilty about not doing all the things I used to be able to do.
✨Feeling like I’m failing others.
✨Pretending to be OK when I’m not.

I’m also turning towards:
✨Pacing myself in all areas of my life.
✨Slowing down more than I have already.
✨Being OK with naps during the day.
✨Meeting myself exactly where I am.
✨Hope.

We all face challenges, whether Long COVID or something else. May you have what you need to turn towards what is healing, nourishing and nurturing in body, mind and heart.